Hiding Place

I was in my first year of university, and was having bad luck with my roommates. They either seemed to torment me or just up and leave me high and dry. I had made a friend in my psychology class. She seemed to be having the exact same problem I was, just with different people. By the end of the year, we had decided that the next year we should try to live together, after all it could not get any worse. Now most of you might be thinking, hey way to go dude, U da Mannnn…. Well she just wanted to be friends, you know…. Oh well, at least I had a roommate for the next year.

I guess I should tell you a little about myself. My name is Bob. I have just finished my second year of general Arts and Science courses, and for any people that know me, I was in pre-med…. Yea that’s it. I am quite small for my age, 5’ 8” tall and 120 pounds. This does absolutely nothing for my, “I’m a man image”…. I weigh less than most of the girls I know, hence pre-med. A guy has got to have something.

Now maybe my previous roommates did not all leave me because of their own person needs, I may have some qualities or habits that some people might find annoying. My favorite bad habit is to scare people, I love to hide and when they are all nice and comfortable with their surroundings, I scare them. Some times I let them accidentally find me, usually by hiding in a place I know they will go to. Other times I jump out of my hiding spots.

Now that I had a female roommate, we had decided that both our rooms would be off limits to each other… DO NOT PASS GO. Well a girl needs her space and I need my pig pen… seemed like a good arrangement. This did cramp my hiding style a little but, hey that just means I need to use my imagination. I hid in the dryer, in the pot cupboard, in the coat closet, and my personal favorite was in the couch. When she sat on my legs, I slowly sat up moaning…. God the look on her face was worth the pounding she gave me. Putting my habit of hiding and scaring her aside, I thought we actually made pretty good roommates. And she did not mind having me around, as I seemed to not cramp her style. Most people thought I was just her brother. Well enough of the background, I should get on with the story.

Now we were at the end of our second year and I had just finished my last final the day before. I was actively looking for work, however, Tina was going to go home for the summer. We would hook up again next fall for yet another year of courses. Now one of the places that I have always wanted to hide was in the garbage. We had paid our rent till the end of the month and I had two weeks to find a job or give up the apartment. We had officially given our notice, however the landlord said he would let me stay, at a reduced rate if I could get a job.

Well I knew that Tina’s Mom was coming into the city to pick her up and take her stuff home. So here was my plan. I went out and bought some of those really heavy duty extra large garbage bags. I made a big show about throwing out all my paper junk into one of the large garbage bags. I had actually gone out and collected some extra paper to make the bag look about ½ full, and so that it would weigh a lot. Now Tina had watched me load the bag up with papers and then drag it out to the kitchen. She was still studying for her last final she had in the afternoon. I told her that I had to go out and look for some more jobs this afternoon and that I probably would not see her till next fall.

We said our good byes and I told her that I would phone her at home and let her know if I had a job in the city or not. It was getting close to the time she was getting ready to leave to go write her final, so I made some lame excuse and slipped out after a short hug and a good bye. I slipped out to the back alley and hid in the bushes behind the apartment block. I noticed that they had moved in a great big garbage bin into the loading dock as many of the residence were moving out and there was a giant influx of garbage. I waited for about 10 minutes when I saw Tina come out of the door and go to her car and head out to the university for her last exam. After she had left, I had 3 hours to get ready and well hidden on her.

I snuck back into the apartment and hid my clothes in my room so that even if they peeked in there, there would be no trace of me. I slipped into a pair of shorts and grabbed the 46” belt I had bought at the second hand store. I went over to the garbage and started to dig through it. I dug down to where I had hid a garbage bag full of papers at the bottom. I pulled it out and took it downstairs to the giant dumpster and chucked it in. I went back to my apartment and then proceeded to empty the paper out of the big garbage bag into a smaller garbage bag.

Next I opened the big garbage bag and sat down in it. I pulled it up and it was huge. I wiggled around so that my back was on the floor and my knees were on my stomach and my chin was on my chest. I fit with no problems what so ever. So I sat up and got my belt and took the small bag of papers and sprinkled some on the bottom of the bag. Next I grabbed my large belt and wrapped it around my back. I brought my knees up to my chest and I did the belt up around my knees, binding me into a small ball. I kept my hands free from the belt as I would still need them. Next as before, I began to wiggle in my bag until my back was against the floor and I was able to pull the bag up to a good portion of its height, since my arms were only so long.

Yes this will work, I was in the garbage bag and there was lots of bag left to add garbage to. Additionally, I figured I looked just about like the bag was before Tina left for her final exam. Now her last final was not a long one, it was only 60 multiple choice and one essay question. Tina was a smart cookie and so this would probably only take her a little over an hour to write. I was now starting to run out of time. I wiggled the bag back over to the kitchen cupboard were it was before Tina left and then I pulled down the sides and reached over to my small garbage bag full of papers. Now my small garbage bag was still one of those regular black garbage bags full of paper, but compared to the one I was hiding in, it was small. I pulled the bag into my big bag and set it up on my knees.

Next I pulled the sides of the big garbage bag up as far as I could then I took the bag on my knees and tipped it up side down. Paper rained down on me completely covering me and going down the sides of the bag and even behind my head as I had it lifted up away from the edge of the garbage bag. The papers were all around me and I was completely buried, you could not see even a little bit of me, except for my hand holding the small garbage bag up. Next I pulled the empty bag down and hid it under my head for a pillow and then I pulled the top of the bag and flopped it over and then pulled my hands down under the papers to my chest. I was very excited and was breathing fast. I needed to slow my breathing down so that the bag would not move when I breathed.

After about 15 minutes, I really started to relax and enjoy the fact that I was hiding in the only big garbage bag in the house. Not only that but that my roommates mother was going to come and help her clean up and pack her up. I did not think that they would completely fill up the garbage bag but there was that faint hope. I also knew that they would not be able to lift me into the garbage shute, but they might try to take me out to the loading dock….. I could hope. But now all I could do was wait. Time was passing slowly, and I was getting sleepy.

I was jolted out of my daze by the buzzing of my apartment buzzer. My guess was that Tina’s mom was here and was hoping that I might be home. Well I was, but I was not about to answer the door. After I calmed down again it seemed like only 20 minutes or so had passed when I heard Tina’s voice and another womans voice coming down the hall whom I assumed to be her mom. I heard some keys jingle and then get inserted into the door lock and then the door was opened and in they came. Tina was happy, she was done her last final for the year and it was indeed easy. I heard Tina and her mom dump their purses and backpack on the table and then her mom said that they should start getting packed so they could get home to their dad. He was planning a big party back home. Tina stated that she had already packed most of her stuff and all she had to do was take it down stairs and load it up.

Tina’s mom stated that she would start cleaning up as she doubted, from the looks of my room, that I would be able to sufficiently clean up the apartment. I heard the door open and then Tina prop something against to door to keep it open. The door came up to my side and helped hide me in the garbage bag. Then I heard Tina grab another box and start to walk out the door and down the hall. I could hear her mother in her room and then her footsteps started to get louder and it seemed like she was walking into the kitchen. I heard her stop right in front of my garbage bag and grab the edge of it and open it up. Next I felt her empty out the garbage container that was in Tina’s room onto me and then walk away humming to herself. I had stopped breathing when she grabbed the edge of the garbage bag and I had never been so scared of being discovered or so turned on in all my life. Over the next few minutes, Tina’s mom continued to bring out the boxes and suitcases from Tina’s room and pile them up by the door. Tina continued to run up and down the stairs loading her car. Next I could hear her mom fiddling in her room with some tools, and it sounded like she was starting to take the bed and dresser apart for transportation.

When Tina came back up stairs her mother yelled at her and told her to bring up the trolley with her next time so that they could start taking the big stuff down to the truck.

Tina exclaimed that she should have thought of that earlier as she could load up a pile of boxes and take them down rather than taking one or two at a time. Over the next 40 minutes they were able to get all of Tina’s stuff loaded in the truck and in her car. Now all they had left to do was clean. This was finally the part that I had been waiting for. Tina’s mom came to the kitchen and started cleaning out the cupboards, while Tina started with the fridge. Tina looked in the fridge and asked her mom what she should do with her stuff that Bob did not eat.

"Well there is no room in the fridge at home so you might as well throw the stuff in the garbage if you think Bob won’t eat it."

Tina laughed, "actually Bob is a very picky eater and he won’t eat any of the stuff that I like to eat, so I guess I’m going to have to throw a lot of it away. Should we take the fruit home?"

"Na, we have plenty, just leave it for Bob."

"He won’t eat it, should I throw it away?"

"No check to see if a neighbor could use it first, then throw it away. Its perfectly good."

Over the next half hour I had all sorts of stuff thrown in on me. Tina propped the bag open and just chucked stuff in on top of me. My pile was beginning to grow. I heard Tina’s mom open the cupboard under the sink and then cough.

"My God, what did you throw in that garbage?"

"Oh that was Bob, He had left some fish out for a little too long in the sun and it was starting to stink."

"I’ll say, Here chuck it out."

I heard Tina say, "Here I’ll hold the bag open while you throw it out."

Tina’s mom tied the kitchen garbage bag closed, so it wouldn’t stink so much and then dumped it in on top of the pile.

Tina still holding on to the edges of the big garbage bag, shook it to settle all the garbage and then draped the little bit of the bag over the top of the garbage.

After they had finished with the kitchen they moved to the living room and finished with the bathroom. With Tina’s mom emptying the bathroom garbage out on me, she said, "this garbage reeks. We need to throw it out."

With that she grabbed the edges of the garbage bag and started to tie them shut. She was having a difficult time as there was now so much garbage in the bag, so the pushed down on it with all her weight and then tied a second knot in the garbage bag. Then she grabbed the top and went to pull it. She stopped dead.

"What did you put in this garbage, its too heavy for me to carry?"

"Oh yea, Bob threw out all his papers and stuff from school. He was complaining that the bag was heavy this morning."

"Well quick, go down stairs and get the trolley and we’ll load it up and take it to the garbage bin and then leave."

My dream was coming true, I was hiding in the garbage without my roommate knowing it and she was going to throw me out. This was the ultimate in hiding. It was starting to get difficult breathing in the garbage bag when I heard Tina coming back with the trolley. They pulled it into the room and closed the door, then they moved the trolley over to beside me and then pushed me over onto my side onto the trolley. I was not quite on, so they grabbed the bottom of the bag and pushed it onto the trolley. After they were done loading me, they started to gather all their stuff and then opened the door and pushed me out.

Once I felt the trolley starting to move, I used my finger and poked a small hole in the garbage bag on the side facing down to the trolley, so they could not see the hole. The plastic was really tough to poke a hole in, a lot tougher than I had thought it was, however I was getting desperate and I was going to win. This did not give me a lot of air, but at least I had some now.

I rode the elevator down and then was rolled out into the bright spring day and right up next to the big dumpster. Tina climbed onto the trolley and pulled the bag upright and then pushed it over and into the giant dumpster. So here I was, all tied up in a garbage bag, thrown out by my unsuspecting roommate and her mother, lying in a big long dumpster with a lot of people moving around and a lot of daylight left.

Over the next 2 hours I had lots of garbage thrown out on me, including an old couch, mattress, and I don’t know how many bags of garbage. I figured I was under about 5 feet of garbage now, and it was time to get out. I couldn’t see the light so I figured that it must have gotten dark now, however that was just the fact that there was so much garbage on me. I was a going as quiet as I could so that I would not get discovered sneaking out of the garbage bin. I tried to move the couch that was on top of me over so that I could climb out, but I could not. The garbage on top of the couch was too heavy.

Next I heard the sound of a diesel truck coming down the back alley. My heart stopped, Oh God let this be a moving truck and keep going. Well it did not keep going, I heard the brakes go on and then the sound of a back up alarm as the truck started to back up. I thought, they don’t do garbage this late. It backed up right to the container. Next I heard the door slam shut and the loud metal thunk of a clip being attached to the container I was in. Within a few more seconds I heard the truck rev up and the sound of hydraulics moving. I was frozen, I was scared, I was going to be taken to the dump. Being scared of being caught I just lay back down and would bide my time till I could sneak out.

I felt the container starting to be lifted at an angle and slid onto the back of the truck. The couch that was pinning me shifted and moved which was great, except that all the garbage and a mattress came rushing down on me pinning me to the couch I was just under. What I heard next was the sound of a screen being placed over the dumpster and then strapped down so that none of the garbage could escape on the way out to the dump. This also meant I was going to be going all the way on this ride.

After about a 20 minute ride out to the dump, I was noticing that it was starting to get dark. This is great I thought, just hide in the garbage for another hour or so and then start my long walk back home. The truck went through the weight scale and started on the rough road down to the dumping spot. I could hear the faint sounds of the bulldozers pushing the garbage down into the pit. I felt the truck swing around wildly and then stop.

Next it started to back up and then stopped. Then I heard the door slam and someone whistling as he walked back to the rear of the container. I heard the sound of some metal levers being moved and then the door thrown open. Then I heard the sound of the tarp being removed so that it would not rip on the garbage sliding out. Then the door of the truck open and closed and I heard it start to back up some more. Then the truck really started to rev up and I felt the container starting to lift. The truck slammed on the brakes and some of the garbage let loose. The couch I was on along with the mattress slid out and landed with a dull thud. I could hear the sound of garbage bags tumbling down onto me and around me. I heard the truck rev up some more and then a crashing sound. I thought that the 4 feet of garbage weighed a lot.

I must have been under about 10 feet of garbage, pinned to the couch by the mattress and all the garbage on the mattress. I physically could not move, the weight was too much. All I could do was lay there under all that garbage. I heard the truck drive a little away and then stop and do up the container and then drive away. I heard the sound of a bulldozer starting to approach where I was. Was he going to drive over the pile and squish me? I suddenly heard it stop and then could faintly hear a couple of guys yelling. "Just push this pile down the pit and then call it a night, we’ll get it tomorrow." With that I heard the bulldozer rev up again and then the sound of garbage being moved. Apparently my pile was too big to take in one pass so he could only take ½ of the pile. This had the effect of pulling some of the garbage off my mattress and I was starting to get some movement back. Hey maybe I might live through this.

I heard the bulldozer back up and then take a run at the pile I was under. I began to feel the pile moving, the couch I was under tipped over and me with it. I was free from being under the mattress, but now I was being used like a mini bulldozer blade. As we moved toward the pit, I could feel the garbage starting to build in front of me as the bulldozer continued its path. Suddenly, I started to tumble along with the couch and all the garbage. I tried my hardest to roll the furthest to keep from getting buried again. I was rewarded for as I stopped only a few bags of garbage piled on top of me. I was free to move again for the first time in several hours. I heard the bulldozer back up and then turn off. I could see the sky and it was starting to get dark now. The temperature was starting to get chilly. I waited where I was for another ½ hour and then started my trek for the fence and back home.

That was the wildest day of my life.

Bob

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05.11.05